Trapping myself with past scene
While fantasy and picture mixed
It make days become worse to me
You are the one that "fragiled" me
and you too that make me realized
Fantasy couldn't stand long in realistic
A piano pedal makes the music sounds worse if it doesn't release fairly
Only the balance action on pressing and releasing could make the performace sounds amazing
Now I'm pressing the pedal as hardly as I could
Thinking that the sustaining sound could last forever
But it makes the music worse
joining all unrelated individual together
Yup, a tie in music score is working
That could make bonds while bar line is seperating
But only for right notes that sounds agree with each other
Are you the one? I'm still holding pedal.... and I'll stay don't know until I release and make things clear
Two ways:
1. Replay that paragraph but with pressing pedal fairly and correctly
2. Forget the previous paragraph move forward and learn from the previous.
I like this paragraph so much
But it is in minor key
Do the score continue to be in minor?
Who knows except the composer...
Jay Brannan - the singer that only recognized by me recently
Because of the song that he sang in one movie and the song name called "Lower my Gun"
That impressed me so much on the emotional days I had recently.
Actually I can't really get the whole meaning of the song
but the melody and the style of this song attracting me so much
especially the intro chords of the songs.
His kinda courageous that he wrote words that hard to seen in ordinary songs' lyrics
but its fine for me, the appearance of those words are just like
"Ya, it should be there. This word should appear in this line."
The another song that touches my recent emotion
"Can't Have it All" by Jay Brannan
I am now living in a choosing life
That I have to choose from choices that given to me
but I would really like to have all of those choices
The words that immediate came out in my thought are
"Why I shouldn't choose all of them? Why should I choose?"
Just like the lyrics of the song said
"F*** this, this can't be my life" and "Its driving me crazy that I can't have it all"
I don't think the world outside is greater than what I see now
I just wanna to have the things I like to around
Why should I choose from all the things that I love?
Why should I choose from my love with their love?
I'm just the one, that scared to be alone,
I just want someone that I considered and considering me
Someone that "Lower my Gun"
I've been looking back at me
Comparing the "myself" before and after meeting you
I had a conclusion that, I'm not as strong as previously
I could not withstand any extra stress, or pressure from outside to inside of me
As like the song by Westlife - "Fragile Heart"
This song has been my “Title song" as my friends said
Who know what is happening in me
It is true,
The changes in me is, I become more fragile than before
Cause I could not withstand stress anymore
I'm not blaming anyone that make my heart "fragile"
Just I've got a "stone heart" since my father took away my important thing
But, you're the next person that could turn "it" fragile
As fragile as it will break even a single light touch
I started to cover my real self from the outside world
Do not even expose it anyone anymore
Because I am also confusing in myself on what I looking for
My world had totally messed up
Till that I had never seen before
I could even stop thinking and responding in some important occasions
The shadows of things that I do not wish to think of
Suddenly pushing up from the bottom of my mind
Few times in the night
I hardly to fall asleep just because of the messed up mind
Now, I barely cannot accept who am I
The unfamiliar one, that I don't even understand
Sometimes, I was thinking that I was making the scar bleed again
While try to figure out the answer to these questions in my mind
This is the consequences of stepping into the region of should not be in
The region that a friend and a friend should not stepping into
The region that someone others would hardly thought that I would fell into
Feeling strange?! Even I do.
Hesitating in front of few doors that leading to different life
“Friend", I am glad to know you and glad to place you in my special place in my heart
I will not regret to do this
For me you deserve it.
Till now, the things that I knew is this unfamiliar me appears not because of you
Is because I wish to take another further step to you
But I could not stand with the consequences of this little footstep
That could even break our friendship.
WISH ME LUCK to discover this unfamiliar me,
ending this endless game that hurting myself,
Stop me from crying in no tears while in the midnight.
"To mend this fragile heart."(Westlife, Fragile Heart)
