Another Giving Up

Things were just happened few months ago
With this person that took over my heart just in first sight
How could it so easy?! Just because.... no reason

The way that the thing goes between this person and me was totally and absolutely fast
What would happen just happened
But, I couldn't get what is in this person's mind
like every the silence after the laugh and conversation
like I'm there but I'm not
I barely catch the response that gave from this person to me

But though... I'm still into... fallen
It's just hard to turn away
Things were gone very out of my expectation
Some significant signs for me was just some common signs that this person put out
I am those person who like to self interpret everything I felt or seen
And of course this time I do too

Finally, this person made me upset and upset again
This upset is not because that this person did anything wrong, absolutely not
Everything I was just so volunteer
Was thought that these could finally bring back something
Even not as expected but some

Some... just some... they do
some of these voluntaries do
But I don't know if I am too greedy to expect more or anything
I just couldn't get the enough "expected response"
I just felt hot and cold in just couple of hours
I felt like I'm there but I'm not

Everytime I scream to myself
getting enough of it, but there are still some excuses or even attractions that brought me back into
when the time that I was trying hard to pretend just nothing
and Everything just happens in front of me EVERYTHING

Saying giving up tonight
and if this person did something on the next day... (something could be one thing)
the promises would just fade

I could keep the promises to myself for this person
That promise myself that just don't give a look or care to this person anymore
and this would just totally vanished with a wink of this person

My friends are all slapping me
Asking me to wake up from this self fantasy
What I try to say now is:"I'm trying, very hard... too hard that I hurting myself."

None of any of these words above accusing "this person"
All these happened just because of I'm being too "newbie" for Love
At least I had tried for anything or everything